need help writing a letter

[Soel]

Hey all,

well, maybe it's a unusual topic in this forum. I got at school the task to introduce california to my class. Only a short presentation about 10 minutes. The tricky thing is the following: I have to write a formal letter to the tourist information center of california and have to request some information material.
Well, I'm a bit scared to blame my English in this letter

So would you guys - most of you seems to be perfect in tongue - check my (very short -.-) letter, please?

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I am a german pupil and I was asked to introduce the state of california to my class. In case of that, I would like to request information material about leisure activities and sights.

I would be greatful, if you are so kind to send me some subjects about the topics above.



Yours faithfully

...

I there are some mistakes - tell me, please. Or if you would add or rewrite something - feel free to correct me


Thanks before


Shalom

Soel

[nephar]

"Ladies and gentlemen,

I am a German pupil and I was asked to introduce the state of California to my class. Therefore I would like to request information on leisure activities and sights.

I would be grateful if you would be so kind to send me some flyers or other information on the topics above.



Yours faithfully,"

This would be what I'd give my teach', I was a B student though, so might wanna double check that.
Thick letters = edit.

[Masity]

To whom it may concern,

First and foremost, hello and thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I am a German student so I formally apoligize for any grammatical errors present in the letter. I was given an assignment for a class to give a presentation on the State of California. I would like to request some information about this state with regards to leisure activities and sights. I would be very greatful for any information you can provide me with.

Thank you,
...

______________________________________

It may sound strange but its formal American English. Good luck man.

Masity

[Artemîs.]

Either one works, but Masity made some spelling errors in his, though. Not that big, but I just noticed it.

[Masity]

Sorry Mars, Rhi is right. Updated

To whom it may concern,

First and foremost, hello and thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I am a German student so I formally apologize for any grammatical errors present in the letter. I was given an assignment for a class to give a presentation on the State of California. I would like to request some information about this state with regards to leisure activities and sights. I would be very grateful for any information you can provide me with.

Thank you,



Now it's perfect.

[Soel]

Thanks a lot Nephar, Masity, Rhia and Hellcrush (PM)

[nephar]

Anytime G

[Caliburn]

LoL

You should right directly to Arnold.

[Soel]

Hahaha^^

[Artemîs.]

Yeah, now it's good.

[Denis]

omg plagerismmmmmm